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MountainDougie
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Name: christopher
Country: United States
State: Massachusetts
Metro: Boston
Birthday: 6/7/1987
Interests: indie rock, indie pop, postpunk, british invsion, psychedelia, cheez-metal. mr show, british comedy, french girls (especially audrey tautou.. purrrr), french music, french films, french everything else.
Expertise: fucking shit up old school, being a stud, playing in , Down/b, The Tangles. being a nerd hehehehe i'm so clever.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Media
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  indieshock
Member Since:
11/30/2003
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| the past 2 months, I think, have pushed me further to the edge of sanity than ever before. after this brief respite for the holiday i see that this push will continue. and for what?
i think that overall college has been a negative experience. I've met some (no more than "some) great people, and many of them NOT directly through college and that's about it. that's youth though. college sucks. that's a fact. don't go, it's not worth it. careers are not worth it. all you need is to be happy and college, at least for me has done nothing but made me unhappy. i probably won't be coming back, i probably don't have the choice, but if i do, i choose to leave probably. i have no idea what to do next, but would i have any better idea or chance with a degree? i think not.
also, i've been saying this since the beginning and people think i am crazy for it. i can't wait to live alone. 100% alone. no offense to my roommates, i am surely not lashing out against them. i always saw living alone as the ideal situation, well before marriage, that is. no roommates. like, freshman year as i began to see off-campus living i still believe that the best place i saw was that of my friend karl who lived in a studio. his place was absurdly expensive, even by his family's means and not realistic, but i think it was mainly the idea of living alone that i liked. that is ideal. i don't think i'd be any lonlier, and i would have no one but myself to blame for its state. perfection.
well, i know i can get through this, but i'll probably have to move. after that i can dedicate all my time to figuring out how to move to europe permanently.
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| back in boston. it's nice. however, i think i hate new england and its capitol more than ever before. also, i am really not looking forward to getting back to school. i may just have to leave it, but i can't leave the area for a while because i have a lease, but that's okay. i really just can't wait until i graduate, leave the county and only come back for weddings and funerals.
american culture really is at a major low right now (that's not why i want to leave... well not the only reason at least), but also, at the moment, other countries aren't really doing much better. Sweden is probably doing the best right now, but it's not like they are some kind of juggernaut. it's just pretty depressing. bands may not all sound the same but they certainly all look and act the same and are bland and forgettable in the same way. either way i need a real change, so does the rest of the world.
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I'll be back sunday. see you then. I've been having a great time up here. just working a lot. saw 3 herzog movies this weekend (in the realest way you can), so you know it was a good time.
so, i am still alive, have proof soon.
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lately i've just been really worried taht i am going to keep getting more and more bitter and that it will prevent me from opportunities to actually be really happy. i've known for years i need to lower my standards, but i just keep rasing them instead. what am i to do? we'll see. i've been kind of stressed out from being homeless and not being able to get this incomplete out of the way. i haven't talked to anyone who isn't here in a while and i think that's brought me down a bit. soon i will be living somewhere and that will be better, but i don't know, it just feels like the future is all pretty bleak. we'll see.
good luck to you all.
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